Outside mindless un-gardening with dog today - hacking down things, wondering if it is still too dry to risk a bonfire and filling rabbit holes with sand - when this thought crossed my mind: what is it that men and women want in a dog?
The manly cliché is a friend who delivers slippers and newspaper when the master gets home - although in our house he would be lucky if a shredded heap of soggy newsprint got anywhere near his chewed slippers. Most men appear to want an OBEDIENT companion who is seen but never heard, never gets in the way and never ever interferes with plans, but who is also a companion who massages his master's ego with much tail wagging in the forlorn hope that the master will feed him, take him out, play with him. Noooo! master's far too busy ... but dog will try again tomorrow, and tomorrow and tomorrow.
To be fair, there are other men who absolutely adore their dogs. Usually, these dogs came into their lives before significant others (humans) came on the scene and remind them fondly of blokish weekends when they were free to sleep in until early afternoon, snuggled up with four legged beast on their bed, then get up together, have breakfast together, go for a run together, sleep some more together, crash in front of the TV together and not speak or be spoken at all day.
Then, there are country men whose dogs are their right arm. I have every respect for the relationship they have, so enough said.
So what of women? What do they want in a dog? A girl might be seeking a doll that she can whisper secrets to, dress up in whatever costume takes her fancy (regardless of whether it takes the poor dog's fancy) and mother. It is the last of these that I think most woman seek when acquiring a dog. Mothering or nurturing another creature is a very basic instinct. When we have done with raising our own, or when we have none of our own, we turn to pets to fill the gap. And what better pet than a dog? A faithful companion; a shadow; a friend and protector. But hang on a minute, what about cats? Aren't they the same in nurturing terms? I might be misquoting someone here, but a dog is faithful because he thinks his owner is God, a cat on the other hand isn't interested because he knows he is God. I sometimes suspect however that I am God in dog's terms only when I am holding food; then he is very faithful.
So what of my dog? Children very much still in the nest; husband fairly typical of the seen and not heard approach to dog ownership (and the seen and not seen approach to picking up poo!) Companionship. Dog un-gardens with me - that is, he tolerates my gardening for about half an hour and then starts to help, getting between me and my bucket, digging holes, pulling up the plants I have just planted and chewing on the satisfyingly crunchy, woody bits of shrubs. Then I give up and play with him - thereby rewarding him (I know!)- and so the whole un-gardening exercise happens several times in one afternoon. He shadows me and rather endearingly barks to protect me when we are out walking ( I think this equals his being frightened and not actually particularly brave: a whole fleet of big black spaceships had landed in our field the other day - very scary and very much resembling the bales of hay, cut and wrapped in black polythene the previous day; this caused much barking and refusal to take his usual path). And he lies at my feet when I sit still for a rare and fleeting few minutes. And he doesn't ask any awkward questions, or argue, or ask me for money, or stay out too late, or have relationship problems, or worry about his future or who his best friend is today, or whether he will be picked for the team, or whether he did enough to pass his exams.
What more could a woman want but a male who without question worships her twenty four hours a day?
The manly cliché is a friend who delivers slippers and newspaper when the master gets home - although in our house he would be lucky if a shredded heap of soggy newsprint got anywhere near his chewed slippers. Most men appear to want an OBEDIENT companion who is seen but never heard, never gets in the way and never ever interferes with plans, but who is also a companion who massages his master's ego with much tail wagging in the forlorn hope that the master will feed him, take him out, play with him. Noooo! master's far too busy ... but dog will try again tomorrow, and tomorrow and tomorrow.
To be fair, there are other men who absolutely adore their dogs. Usually, these dogs came into their lives before significant others (humans) came on the scene and remind them fondly of blokish weekends when they were free to sleep in until early afternoon, snuggled up with four legged beast on their bed, then get up together, have breakfast together, go for a run together, sleep some more together, crash in front of the TV together and not speak or be spoken at all day.
Then, there are country men whose dogs are their right arm. I have every respect for the relationship they have, so enough said.
So what of women? What do they want in a dog? A girl might be seeking a doll that she can whisper secrets to, dress up in whatever costume takes her fancy (regardless of whether it takes the poor dog's fancy) and mother. It is the last of these that I think most woman seek when acquiring a dog. Mothering or nurturing another creature is a very basic instinct. When we have done with raising our own, or when we have none of our own, we turn to pets to fill the gap. And what better pet than a dog? A faithful companion; a shadow; a friend and protector. But hang on a minute, what about cats? Aren't they the same in nurturing terms? I might be misquoting someone here, but a dog is faithful because he thinks his owner is God, a cat on the other hand isn't interested because he knows he is God. I sometimes suspect however that I am God in dog's terms only when I am holding food; then he is very faithful.
So what of my dog? Children very much still in the nest; husband fairly typical of the seen and not heard approach to dog ownership (and the seen and not seen approach to picking up poo!) Companionship. Dog un-gardens with me - that is, he tolerates my gardening for about half an hour and then starts to help, getting between me and my bucket, digging holes, pulling up the plants I have just planted and chewing on the satisfyingly crunchy, woody bits of shrubs. Then I give up and play with him - thereby rewarding him (I know!)- and so the whole un-gardening exercise happens several times in one afternoon. He shadows me and rather endearingly barks to protect me when we are out walking ( I think this equals his being frightened and not actually particularly brave: a whole fleet of big black spaceships had landed in our field the other day - very scary and very much resembling the bales of hay, cut and wrapped in black polythene the previous day; this caused much barking and refusal to take his usual path). And he lies at my feet when I sit still for a rare and fleeting few minutes. And he doesn't ask any awkward questions, or argue, or ask me for money, or stay out too late, or have relationship problems, or worry about his future or who his best friend is today, or whether he will be picked for the team, or whether he did enough to pass his exams.
What more could a woman want but a male who without question worships her twenty four hours a day?
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