Walking The Dog

To walk - verb: to place one foot in front of the other in a continuing sequence thereby re-enacting an ancient form of transport. Potentially hazardous if wearing ill-fitting boots. Requires a low level of fitness and an ability to read maps. (See also blisters and getting lost ). A walk - noun: an often pleasurable journey from one place to another undertaken on foot. Whether actually pleasurable or not depends on the weather and the terrain and the company. By convention "on foot" although singular and therefore suggestive of hopping, refers to two or more feet progressing forwards in a walking manner. If sped up, the walk would become a run. On feet. Walking the dog - phrase: a duty required of man or woman to be undertaken on a daily basis for the entertainment of man or woman's best friend(s). In a tale involving a significant birthday, tickets for Jeeves and Wooster at the Duke of York theatre, London (terrifically entertaining), long-legged-boy, babysitt...

Scenarios in which an open top sports car is a good idea - it's not raining. the driver of the open top sports car is in possession of a mackintosh and sowester - in the event of 1. being incorrect - or is accompanied by a similarly clad passenger who is happy to hold a magic umbrella over their heads - magic because the erection of any umbrella currently in manufacture inside a moving roofless car will result in the prompt inversion of the umbrella, thus rendering it utterly useless. Except as an object of ridicule (see 4 below). Or the driver knows where the button is to reconstitute the car's roof, turning it into a claustrophobically small vehicle with all the visibility of a shoe box with an assortment of narrow windows cut out by a child wielding blunt scissors and as much knowledge of the highway code as he has for nuclear physics. the driver is deaf. Or likes music of considerable gusto and volume. He (because it is usually a he) wil...

Half term passed, too long ago, in a sleepy, whispering sigh. Half term for Littlest = shopping, treats, walks, curling up with a film, catching up with friends and family (you wait three years for an aunt to visit, then two turn up within four days of each other), singing-in-the-shower-because-I-can-and-no-one-is-telling-me-to-hurry-because-of-homework and if-I-look-busy-no-one-will-notice-that-I-haven't-done-my-music-practice*-and-no-I-don't-mind-putting-it-all-off-'til-Sunday (I can do it with the Maths prep that I've been keeping quiet about. On Sunday evening. Ten minutes after I should have gone to bed.) Half term for Bertie Baggins and Four-legged-friend meant warm bottoms (long sleeps next to the Aga), walks, walks and more walks (way above their normal weekly average), visits from new friends, new smells, new excuses to interrupt conversations with wet nuzzling requests for a tummy rub, lots more crumbs dropped on the floor and fewer hours spent incarcerate...