Skip to main content

I would walk five-and-a-half hours. And they would walk five-and-a-half hours more.

To walk - verb: to place one foot in front of the other in a continuing sequence thereby re-enacting an ancient form of transport. Potentially hazardous if wearing ill-fitting boots. Requires a low level of fitness and an ability to read maps. (See also blisters and getting lost).

A walk - noun: an often pleasurable journey from one place to another undertaken on foot. Whether actually pleasurable or not depends on the weather and the terrain and the company. By convention "on foot" although singular and therefore suggestive of hopping, refers to two or more feet progressing forwards in a walking manner. If sped up, the walk would become a run. On feet.

Walking the dog - phrase: a duty required of man or woman to be undertaken on a daily basis for the entertainment of man or woman's best friend(s).

In a tale involving a significant birthday, tickets for Jeeves and Wooster at the Duke of York theatre, London (terrifically entertaining), long-legged-boy, babysitting and the need to provide transport from the railway station to home, it seemed a good idea to park a car at the station and to walk home - a distance of 9.7 miles by road, probably closer to 11 miles via footpaths. With Four-legged-friend and Bertie Baggins.

England was looking beautiful. The Scot in me wants to say that Scotland will always look better but I do recognise beauty when it demands to be seen and it was a stunning and English scene.




The footpaths were wide, easy to find and open




Snacks were good (chocolate and dog biscuits).
Lunch was better.




Caffeine boosted the map reading




As we progressed from field




to woodland



to ditch - "Come in, it's lovely!




On the way, we were slowed down by mud




and water




and fox poo




... then (thankfully) more water




We encountered strange blue barrel monsters that required much fierce and brave barking at




and relics of war that we didn't bark at




We brushed through crops (..swishy swashy - on our own private Bear Hunt)




scrambled over fallen trees




and took shadow selfies




We met three people and four dogs.

An hour from home, we strayed beyond the manicured paths of country estates and got lost. Where we needed to get to was visible on the horizon




but it was now a case of guess where the footpath might be and hope that if we walked to the corner of that field where the map suggested it should be, we wouldn't find our way blocked by a fence. Which it was, several times.

So we strayed.

And five hours became five-and-a-half-hours.




Walking gave Four-legged-friend back his bounce. 

It gave me blisters.

It was however a wonderful way to spend an afternoon. After the blisters have healed, I would walk five-and-a-half-hours more. It is the perfect guilt-free pastime for a procrastinator. It gives you time to think. To dream. To switch off from the noise of the world beyond.

Switching off is easier for dogs. When you have four legs and each paw proclaims that it has walked a thousand miles, falling down at the floor, next to the Aga, is a fitting switching-off reward.









Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Colour, Delacroix, flochetage and why don't we all have a go at inventing words

Yes - it is a real word. Flochetage. Well, a real-ish word. One invented by the painter Delacroix, when he found the dictionary cupboard bare and required a word to describe his technique of layering different coloured paints, using lightly pulled brush strokes to create texture and pattern and thereby enhance his base-layer colours (... lost? - stick around, read on and all will become clear. Or perhaps muddier ...). Flochetage implies both stringiness and threadiness. Apparently. And it sounds good - in a filling-the-mouth-with-sound sort of a way. Try it ... flochetaaaage. Not that I speak French. So I am probably mis-pronouncing it. Nor am I an artist. So what do I know about painting techniques - except that I think this one works. What I do like is the concept - you invent a new technique in whatever it is you do, hunt around for the vocabulary to describe it, find the dictionary is lacking, so make up a word of your own and announce to the world what it means. Delacroix isn...

Curlews, summer skies and walking in circles.

Summer skies over the Yorkshire Dales and my mind is set to rest mode. But that rest is not totally restful; there is a niggle ... a memory, a hint of childhood, something that unsettles slightly - a light brush stroke of discomfort; a gossamer breath of discombobulation and a 'Woah! Wait a moment!' moment of 'that's-not-right!' - we're about as far from the sea as it is possible to be in middle Britain and yet, I can hear the distinctive Peep! Peep! of oystercatchers and the piercing cry of curlew. Here -  in the blue skies of the North Yorkshire dales and along the footpaths - and above the endless miles of drystone walls are birds that should be at the coast.  Oystercatchers, with their distinctive red pliers attached to their heads feed on - you've guessed it - oyster beds. All along the coastline of the British Isles, their distinctive cry is the call of summer. Drowned out somewhat by the banter of seagulls but sharp and ...

Heaven clearly can't wait. Ranting and screaming inside. Growing old and lecturing ... myself, mostly.

What follows should come with a warning - it is a preachy rant. Stop now if you're not in the mood for a lecture. Or, if you're into procrasti-reading, read on and (hopefully) enjoy my latest piece of procrasti-writing. Apologies too for the reference to elderly leakages. And farts. And now, for being deeply irreverent. Sorry. Heaven  can't  wait. Meatloaf was wrong. Clearly the 'band of Angels' is impatiently putting together a gig. There's a party happening which we haven't been invited to. Yet. What a terrible year 2016 has been, so far. And we are barely dipping our winter-wrapped toes into Spring. Is it that the roll-call of those summoned to a higher place grows ever more poignant as we age? Prince was but a few years older than me. Victoria Wood, a meaningless number of years older still. Meaningless because what does age mean astride the long plateau of middle age before the eventual slide into decrepitude? A few years here, a few there - we...