Why is the 'Y' chromosome so called? Pause to consider this for a moment before I get onto the subject of beds.
The X chromosome - the one, that when expressed as XX, confers the female genotype - is aptly named. Xs are symmetrical (pointy, but in a rounded sort of way) and elsewhere, they are used to represent kisses. Female relatives - mums, daughters, grannies, aunts - tend to be the great kissers in our lives, so the X chromosome is aptly named. (And yes, I do actually realise that the X in the X chromosome and the X representing kisses have nothing to do with each other! But as coincidences go, it's a pretty happy one).
Anyway, why might Y be the name given to the rather stumpy-looking male chromosome? Does it look like a little man with both fists in the air, ready to pummel another little man? Is he perhaps holding his hands up in surrender to the more elegant female chromosome? Or waving in desperation as he drowns in the sea of 45 other chromosomes, all of which are taller than him? Or does the Y look a bit like a weapon: grab it by the vertical leg and use it to bludgeon any other Ys that get too close?
Given that they were probably named by a committee of male scientists, it's funny that, when comparing the letter Y with the letter X, they chose to give the one with a bit missing to the man. What were they trying to say - that a man can do everything standing on one leg, but that a woman needs two feet firmly on the ground? If this last thought even crossed their minds (which, of course, it probably didn't) then I think they kinda shot themselves in the foot, don't you? Men don't multitask: stand a man on one leg and he'll be incapable of doing anything else. Apart from telling all the XXs around him how terribly busy he is, and how he couldn't possibly put the kettle on, empty the bin, or do any washing up.
I digress - back to beds. And boys (those members of our family with the Y chromosome). They get nice soft beds; soft covers; a warm room to sleep in. And what do they do?
They break the bed; rip its cover; scatter its stuffing all over the floor; and poo on it! Yes! I am talking about the dogs. Not the son! ... mostly, not the son - the bed breaking bit might be his; but more due to faulty construction than the Y chromosome. At least, that's his story ...
The dogs - Four-legged-friend and Bertie Baggins - were treated to "almost indestructible" dog beds (big cushions with tough canvas covers) for their crates, at about the time that Bertie Baggins joined the family (precisely six and a half months ago).
And it has taken six and a half months for them to demonstrate what "almost" means.
But even when it is ripped at every corner and spewing its foam-filling all over the floor, they can still share the one that has "almost" survived.
The other bed failed the "almost" bit completely, wasn't indestructible and has gone to dog-bed-heaven, otherwise known as the local recycling centre. Bertie Baggins would like to have some dirty washing in his crate.
Afraid though, that the washing had to be washed and he'll have to make do with a few sheets of Sunday Times instead.
The beds of XX family members? All intact when last checked - protected by a legion of soft toys; adorned with dream catchers and fairy lights; and adrift on a calm sea of soft music to aid sleep. Not a sheet of newspaper in sight!