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Positively pessimistic.

Isn't that an oxymoron?

How can one be both positive and pessimistic?

Here's how - as illustrated in three simple scenarios: gardening, children and dreams.


Gardening

When life throws you weeds, and the weeds grow more prolific with each despairing blink of your gardener's eye, and the gardener groans when hoisting upright after an afternoon spent, trowel in hand, bent-over in a choked flower bed, and the sun shines, burning the winter-tender skin at the back of the gardener's neck, and the gardener feels that inexorable train of at-first-creeping-then-later-racing resignation that the bloomin' weeds will win again - this year, like last year, like next year, then it is good to shove the pessimism down the nearest mole hole along with a fresh stinking emission from one of the dogs and stand back to reflect on what is positive. Things might look bad on the I-wish-I-had-a-garden-I-could-be-proud-of front and the there's-never-enough-time-in-the-day front and the I-feel-so-terribly-old front and it might be tempting to give in to that pessimism writ large on the seasonal horizon. But look. And see that things are not all bad.

For a start, you're loved. You have a friend.




A faithful companion who will watch you weed. Who will shove his muzzle in the way, periodically, just to check that it's not something edible that you're pulling out of the earth. Who will sleep nearby.




And later wake from doggy slumbers.




And play. Just as soon as his eyes focus.

Weeds? Who cares about weeds?!


Children

What dreams we invest in our children. We bring them into this frightening, incredible, wonderful world full of potential experience, adventure and beauty. And we wrap them in cotton-wool. It's a scary place out there. We fear that we can keep them safe only if we watch them. All the time. I am guilty of this. All of my parent friends are. Media is I think to blame. Plus a heavy dollop of over-active imagination. We look out into the world from our mini-fortress homes and worry. Our heads full of concern, our internal pessimism monitors overflow with doom-ridden 'what ifs.'  Pessimism and fear make us try too hard. Over-protected and driven children become the norm, as we raise a failure-phobic generation. Ambition swells to the size of unscalable mountains. It is hard to see your child fail. But totally unrealistic to expect them never to do so. We invest enormous emotion in their achievements, nervously watch as they perform or compete or play and silently fret that they won't succeed, that they won't be judged the best, and feel a knot tighten somewhere in our gut that makes it hard to simultaneaously spectate and breath. That knot is a seed of pessimism that will certainly grow if fed on a diet of worry and doubt.  But again. Stop, look and consider. What has your child achieved? Even if victory is not theirs this time, taking part adds a few bricks to their character. Failing adds more. You and they need to celebrate and take pride in every little step that is achieved. Be positive. Smile. Breathe and smother that seed of pessimism.


Dreams

Lastly and personally, I write. Not very well judging by my limited following. And no, I wasn't looking for compliments. My point is that I am pessimistic of ever being a success and that, plus a hard-wired habit of procrastination, prevents me from trying. But yet, I argue that my pessimism is still positive. No matter how bad the weeds, no matter how fierce the competition, no matter how great the fear of rejection, if the general outlook is a pessimistic one, things will always turn out better than  feared. I write because I enjoy it. Because one follower is better than none. Because one 'like' makes me smile.


Surely it is far, far better to be constantly surprised that things didn't turn out so bad, than always a disappointed optimist living in a world where things never quite live up to the hope invested in them.

I am happy to be an oxymoron - a positive pessimist. One who looks for the positives in my pessimist's world.

I am also a terrible procrastinator.

Hmm ... Can I make procrastination into something positive?


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