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!!!!!

Bless-my-doggy-soul * the newspaper delivery lady thinks I want to eat her too! Beep! Beep! Beep! she went this morning.

How am I to get the message across that I don't eat human, never have, and really don't want to?

Or could the beeping possibly be saying something else? I'm beginning to suspect that it might. 'Stop!'  is a definite possibility.

* I'm not sure if I have a soul. What is a soul anyway? There's a place far, far away called Hollywood, where they'll pay fifty cents for your soul, but for some reason a kiss is worth a thousand dollars ... although, I'm not sure that anyone would pay me a thousand dollars for a sloppy, bacteria-laden, doggy kiss. Apologies to Marilyn Monroe for the misquote, but if her soul was only worth fifty cents, then that would suggest that the soul of a mere dog is worth considerably less. And if worthless, then need I argue for its existence at all. Should I be bothered? Probably not ...

And anyway, when I shuffle off this mortal coil, I'll be happy, as long as heaven doesn't beep at me!

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