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Whether the weather don't eat human meat

Four-legged-friend posting today: mum's a bit busy - in-laws staying - so in order not to stress her too much (or to help her de-stress) I thought it best to take her for a nice long walk. Problem - long: yes; walk: well obviously; nice: well, if you call going out in light drizzle; then getting pelted by hard white nuggetty things falling out of the sky; being so soaked that my coat needed a jolly good shaking and mum stripped in the utility room when we got home, nice, then maybe it was, but in my opinion ... I've had better chases through long, nettle strewn grass, on an ice cold blustery day.

This is me - those white lumps on my coat aren't the worst case of doggy dandruff ever seen, but the nuggetty things that were falling out of the sky


One thing that bothers me, every time we are go out for a stroll, are the holes in the hedges -

These ones are just frustrating - there's a small one and two big ones in my garden and I haven't figured out how to open any of them yet


These ones are a struggle for mum - she has to climb over them and after rain that can be a trifle tricky, as the green wood step gets very slippery; for me, it's easy peasy. Wouldn't be so easy if I ate too much, or for a horse, or pig, or elephant even - but then, we don't get many of them around here.


As far as holes in hedges go, these ones are the best, easy for everyone, and a whole herd of elephants could fit through - they'd probably have to walk in single file though.


Even though it dropped nuggety things and then rained and then was sunny, mum was pleased I'd brought her out for a walk. And I was a good boy - that beeper thing won't let me not be a good boy! So good in fact, that I sat while mum waved her talking flashing box thing at me and gave me some bread.


Shortly after this we had to rush home. Mum said it was something to do with these dark clouds racing towards us. But I've never been chased by a cloud before, so I don't think she knew what she was talking about.


Strangely and rather worryingly, I think the in-laws must suspect I want to eat them, because when I get too frisky around them, trying to jump up and give them a kiss, or chew their sleeves a bit, they beep at me; just the same as all the mum-calls-them-unmentionables that I find under my nose when I'm out walking. Someone needs to tell them I don't eat humans ...

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