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The whens, whys, hows and wheres of a good life.

Whatever pithy sayings are said about life - the clever, inspiring quotes you read, try to remember and promptly forget - and whatever happens along life's way; eventually, it's how you live it that matters. This how is the essence of a good life.

Kids live for the moment. Life is good. Responsibilities if they exist are to themselves. Theirs is a life of when - when will I grow up; when can we get a dog; when will the toothfairy remember to come; when will I be tall enough for that ride at the theme park; when can I have another ice-cream; when can I start wearing make-up; when can I have my ears pierced; when are you collecting me from the party - not that early!; when can I have an allowance and when can I go to London on my own?

Teens live in the moment - anything beyond that moment is not worthy of their attention - exams, what exams; alarm clocks are for losers; ditto baths; alcohol is all about the pre-loading before the party; the party is about getting wasted before your friends; and parents are, well, just the people you grunt at, whose food you eat and whose home you liberally sprinkle with discarded items of clothing.

With late teens and early 20s comes the whys - why didn't I work harder at school; why did she get the job I wanted; why can't I have a car; why when I work my guts out doesn't the boss notice ... actually this is all sounding a bit negative ... it's more about the why can't I afford a house; why are all landlords money-pinching morons; why did my best friend think it would be sensible to have her hen night in San Tropez and expand it into a long weekend meaning that I now can't afford a holiday ... Still too negative? Sorry. More positive whys would include ... why is everyone so obsessed with who should be the next Bond when clearly it should be Rupert Friend, but nobody else seems to have considered him; and why waste caffeine in shampoo?

The hows arrive with middle age and are all about lifestyle and planning. Answering them well will secure a good life - how do we fit children into our work-life balance; how do I say yes to my cousin's wedding when I'd really like to go to the cricket; how do I get myself out of the pickle of having claimed work commitments, when I was seen at the cricket; how do I remember my passwords; how do you get Father Christmas's letter to actually go up the chimney without setting the house on fire; how do you carve a turkey; how do you remember birthdays; how do you choose a builder; how do you persuade her that a grey kitchen would be horrible without saying that it would be horrible; how do you service a lawnmower; how do you interview a nanny; how do you decide where to go on holiday and then tell your in-laws that they can't come after all; how do you do that face that tells her she looks beautiful when your eyes are looking at the extra stuffing round her middle; how do you cope with your midlife crisis and how do you look like you know what your children are talking about when they mention whatsapp, snapchat and pinterest? How do you slide effortlessly and without regret from knowing to pretending?

With old age come the wheres - where are my glasses; where did I leave my trousers; where are all my friends; where am I; and where did all the years go?


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