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Oh My Doggy Deity

A dog's vocabulary is just a bit too narrow. I mean, there aren't too many ways you can say Woof! Woof! - there's the I need food now WOOF!; the get off my property, fierce, heckles-up WOOF!WOOF!; the you haven't forgotten me again Wooooof?; the pleeese take me for a walk, I'll be good Wuff, woof,woof!; and the low growly leave me alone I want to sleep Grrrru-woof!Basically all woof then.

What I would really like is a woof that expresses surprise - I know jumping almost out of my skin, leaping off my mat and dancing around a bit, kind of shows my surprise, but it's not very cool. In dog years I'm a teenager and Long-legged boy and his friends have this great thing they say at the beginning of most sentences. And it even has two meanings: "O.M.G." If they say it quickly, with their eyes wide, it's a bit like me leaping off my bed, but if they roll their eyes and say it slowly, "Ooowe- emmmm-geeee", it means they're soooo bored, or fed up, or both, and a grown up is probably saying something really annoying at the same time.

O.M.G. wouldn't really work for dogs, though. What about 'Oh my dogginess'? - no, that plus my swinging hips would be a bit too camp. Or, 'Oh my doggy deity', or O.M.D.D.? That might work. I don't know if us dogs have a deity - would we need proof that one exists? Or can we just happily go along like out two legged friends assuming that maybe he does, so maybe we'd better believe in him, or not, and maybe we can say O.M.G. or O.M.D.D. anyway because it sounds so cool.

I, of course can't actually say O.M.D.D. ... but I can think it. And the next time I woof, if I woof seven syllables then O.M.D.D. it is!

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