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Perfectionists and procrastinators; a gentle muse to fill the time.


Pictures of clematis (or is it clematises, or even clematii?) Taken in my garden. Enjoyable, but guilty pursuit, as should really be doing something else - such as tackling the long list of jobs that just goes on growing, and growing. Problem is I procrastinate - all the time nowadays. That this hasn't always been the case set me off thinking ...

Do all perfectionists evolve into procrastinators?

And if so how common an affliction is this?

At school, I was accused by my headmaster of being a perfectionist.Insult or compliment - I didn't know then and don't really know now. If his motive was to promote my inner leaning toward perfectionism and thereby ensure that as a perfectionist I would double my swotty learnings, then it was a shrewdly expressed observation. Being a shy, clever and, because of the first two, unpopular teenager, I had nothing to lose in burying myself further in my books and all to gain in winning a place at a prestigious university.

Unfortunately, the rot set in shortly after I started at said university and discovered I was surrounded by perfectionists who were all more perfect than me.

And so the transformation to procrastinator began: I suspect there is a similar, identifiable turning point for everyone who makes this journey.

So how does my affliction manifest itself : I won't windsurf ... because I'm no good at it; I won't speak French to anyone, ever ... because I tried and was laughed at; I am a fairly competent cook but one who avoids making fruit jellies ... because I'm afraid that after too many past disasters they won't set (I have enough jars of pourable"sauces" stacked in the kitchen cupboard and can't give any of them away); years of getting directions wrong, mean that I avoid map reading at all costs (although when alone in the car, I seldom get lost!); in other words, I by definition put off doing anything I fear I might fail ... for days, or weeks, even years. Fear of rejection, of course, keeps my book unsubmitted and unpublished.

So, assuming there are other procrastinators out there and that many of us might at some time have been perfectionists, how do we get our perfectionism back? I think it has something to do with hope and optimism and inner belief. How to achieve those is the question. I don't have the answer, but suspect that liberal quantities of laughter, good music, cuddles with my children, time in the garden, and long walks with the dog might help - or are they all ways of putting more pressing things off. Procrastinating again.

For now, however, I have to admit I am pretty good at procrastination. Me, the perfect procrastinator!

And tomorrow, I'll do my paperwork. Really, I will ...

'Clematis' collective noun.

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