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Slapped in the face and poked in the eye

Round and round in circles; face slapped; reversing; zig-zagging; poked in the eye; bounced around; shaken; wobbling; balancing; thrown round corners; bottom bruising; and sneezing and itchy, running eyes - the clue is in the last part and a is a side effect of what I spent the afternoon doing - all the joys of grass cutting on a small green tractor. And getting too close to the hedge (face slapping and poked in the eye); driving over rabbit holes; attempting unsuccessfully to nudge a football out of the way (oops!); hurrying to finish before it rained; and cutting the grass my way i.e. "a woman's way!"

Why are men so pernickety about things like mowing the lawn? While a man will mentally measure the distances between cut lines, calculate the minimum number of turns required and react furiously if he is disturbed by the phone, children, or having to pick up dog poo, a woman will get the same job done, at the same time as planning the evening meal, mentally writing tomorrows shopping list, noticing which branches of which hedges need to be pruned, designing the garden makeover of her dreams and directing any children that disturb her to put the kettle on, take Four-legged-friend for a walk and run the bath. Okay, she will probably use twice as much petrol, and the job will take longer, but she is multi-tasking and the grass will only look all swirly until the next morning. And who, apart from the man in her life, will notice the bits she missed? And if he wants to go straight out and cut them after he gets home ...  that lets her have a longer bath.

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